Everyone sets goals, strives for more, and hopes to achieve success. But so few actually reach their goal. Why is it that with all the available books and websites telling us how we can achieve more, that most people give up?
I think it has to do with the will to achieve the goal and also the person’s individual strengths (i.e. their hard wiring or psychological make up). Very often people do not set goals, but rather wishes: I wish I could lose 20 pounds or I wish I had a better relationship with my spouse. A real goal is something you would sacrifice most anything to achieve. This requires a strong will and often a reordering of priorities. But where does this will come from? If we follow Maslow’s hierarchy of needs they look as follows:
- Physiological – hunger, thirst, sex, rest.
- Safety – physical safety, psychological security.
- Belonging – affiliation, acceptance, being part of something.
- Esteem – respect from others, self-respect, recognition.
- Self-Actualization – reaching your maximum potential, doing your own best thing.
According to Maslow, the physiological needs are the most prepotent of all needs. This means that a person who is missing everything in life in an extreme fashion, it is most likely the major motivation would be the physiological needs rather than any others. A person who is lacking food, safety, love, and esteem would probably hunger for food more strongly than anything else.
Therefore, it stands to reason that in order to move to the highest level of self-actualization, we need to first achieve the others. I believe the reason people do not achieve success in terms of personal achievement and goals is because they get stuck on numbers 3 and 4. Belonging and Self Esteem seem so basic, but I continue to see people who lack these very basic needs. This could be the result of how they were raised, lack of positive reinforcement from teachers or coaches, or a myriad of past negative experiences. This lack of feeling secure with oneself prevents people from ever achieving maximum potential.
This is why great managers and coaches get the most out of people. They are first able to understand the individual and what needs are missing. Then, they can assist the person to fill in the weak spots as the person strives to move toward the ultimate goal of self actualization and to be all they can be!
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